Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
