so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize