new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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