my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
