Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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