I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
