his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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