I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize