Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
