So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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