It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
