Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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