dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You are a genius and a whore.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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