I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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