Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
