Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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