Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
