Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
