The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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