We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
