Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
