well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
