Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
