Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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