My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
