I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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