Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
