So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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