Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
