Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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