good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
