i jhust puked up my retainher.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
