Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
