she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this just has baby written all over it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
