I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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