he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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