dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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