I'm so fucking centered right now
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
