did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
