Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
