hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
