Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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