I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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