so explain again why im purple
no
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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