she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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