Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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