she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He did a backflip because drugs
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
