Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They have beer where we have blood.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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