just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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