He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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