How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
