it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
