I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
