Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
