yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
