Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
